99 ways to kill a Furry

[Alexheed12]

• Your traditional shotgun to the face.
• Boiling them alive in reused vegetable oil.
• Starving them in an empty room.
• Amputating their limbs with a plastic knife.
• Feeding them to a bear.
• Driving over their bodies with an army tank.
• Sending them to Afghanistan.
• Crucifixion.
• Dipping them into vats of hot mustard.
• Suffocating them with their own fur.
• Dragging them through a three mile cheese grater.
• Injecting nitroglycerin into their body.
• Setting their head on fire.
• Pushing them underneath a working press.
• Tripping them over into a bed of nails.
• Pouring a bucket on piranhas down their throats.
• Forcing them into a meat grinder and making chilli con carne out of them.
• Shooting them with paintballs for seventeen hours.
• Shoving their faces into a deep fryer.
• Pouring acid onto their stomachs.
• Sacrificing them to a giant spider.
• Deporting them to Guantanamo Bay on twenty three fake charges of child molestation.
• Telling Freddy Kruegar that a Furry called him a douche.
• Inserting several lit fireworks into their arse.
• Harpooning them in the mouth.
• Giving them to Paris Hilton for adoption.
• Putting them in a death match with Spock.
• Drowning them in a toilet.
• Setting up a rigged and wired R.P.G behind their front door.
• Doing the typical “flaming dog poop” trick, while replacing the poop with a landmine.
• Throwing them into an active volcano.
• Burning their bodies with nacho cheese.
• Putting them in a trash compactor.
• Dropping them into a giant blender.
• Pushing them off a cliff.
• Shoving them into a room full of hungry lions.
• Burying them alive in a coffin full of snakes.
• Introducing them to “I.T”.
• Sending assault troops into an Anthrocon.
• Smothering them into a giant ball of fairy floss.
• Pouring hot caramel into their eyes.
• Injecting glue into their bloodstream.
• Severing their muzzles off with a chainsaw.
• Forcing them into battle with a Balrog.
• Inserting a powerful vacuum cleaner down their throats.
• Dumping them into the North Sea.
• Force feeding them toxic waste.
• Torturing them on a stretch rack.
• Placing a bottomless cage of rats onto their faces.
• Premature mummification.
• Setting up a giant thumbscrew on their heads.
• Throwing them into an iron maiden.
• Stoning them.
• Pouring hot liquid metal down their throats.
• Annihilating them with a minigun.
• Flaying them alive.
• Rolling a giant boulder over them.
• Using a Voodoo doll to tear them apart.
• Driving over their heads with a bulldozer.
• Throwing shuriken at their foreheads.
• Rolling a lawnmower over their backs.
• Impaling them with your national flag.
• Cremating them alive.
• Tying them in a sack and then throwing them into a river.
• Sending them up into the Sun.
• Electrocution.
• Skewering them on top of Big Ben’s tower.
• Throwing them into shark infested waters.
• Strangling them with a razored wire.
• Dipping them in burning sulphur.
• Tying a vest of dynamite onto them.
• Feeding them into a coal burner.
• Tripping them over into a jet turbine.
• Feeding them to a twenty foot cicada.
• Rubbing a power sander over their faces.
• Burning them on a stake.
• Placing a bear trap in their mouths.
• Dropping an atomic bomb over a Furry convention.
• Driving them into a paper shredder.
• Shattering their vertebrae with a wooden mallet.
• Hammering a wooden stake into their hearts.
• Performing a deadly Russian Omelette on them.
• Simply kicking them to death.
• Stabbing them repeatedly with a pencil.
• Sticking their heads underneath a moving helicopter blade.
• Planting an electric coil in their toilets.
• Nailing them onto a dartboard.
• Stabbing them in the back with a screwdriver.
• Serving them poisoned tea or coffee.
• Drilling several holes into their skull.
• Dropping a classical hundred ton weight on top of them.
• Throwing them onto a highway of moving traffic.
• Filling their mouths with concrete.
• Hanging them with their own intestines.
• Coating them with plastic explosives.
• Throwing them at the mercy of P.E.T.A.
• Deporting them to Ethiopia for food.
• Tying them to a train track.
• Cutting off all possible Internet connections they may have.

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